Let's Go to This Drive Thru
by writing love on your arms
Summary: There's a reason why you never let Emmett and Jasper go to a drive-thru.


**jasper and emmett go to the drive thru!  
oh my god.**  
"**Drive Thru" is copyrighted to Tenacious D  
rofl.**

**Yeah, I should be working on Cupids Chokehold.  
BUTTTT, lyk. I'm having writers block.  
And another story came into my mind.  
SO STFU. D:**

**xDDD; **

* * *

"**Let's Go to This Drive-Thru"  
like a vampire xx  
x0x0x0x  
(Emmett's POV.)**

"Dude. Jasper," I said suddenly, looking up from my ... let's say, 'special' magazine. Jasper looked at me, his golden eyes starting at me. I knew he could tell I was hungry, but he had no idea what I was gonna say.

"Yeah?" He asked, slightly afraid of what I was going to say. I gave a wide smile as I looked from him, to Alice. Alice just looked at me before she burst out laughing. Edward looked at her, apparently reading her thoughts. Quickly, he whispered what I was planning into Bella's ear and she just gave her poor attempt to stifle a laugh.

"Let's go to this drive-thru. The new one that just opened up."

"Oh good, I'm starvin'," Jasper said, jokingly. Bella looked at both of us with wide eyes.

"But you don't even eat human food!"

"Exactly," Jasper and I said at the same time.

**x0x0x0x**

We drove up to the drive-thru in Edward's nice, shiny, Volvo. Thankfully, we never thought about taking it, or Edward would have ripped us into pieces. But both of us knew exactly what would make this even better, and that was taking Edward's precious little Volvo. Ahh, the sweet joy of revenge!

There was a mumbling sound, and I had no idea what the guy said as we stopped and I rolled down the window.

"Yeah .. Um … Ah," I began, looking at the menu. Humans ate _weird_ things. I mean, McNuggets, what the hell are those?

"May I have your order?" The drive-thru guy asked us. I carefully studied the menu, trying to find out what would look really good for a vampire … Or better yet, what Bella would like.

"Yeah, hold on a second, I'm lookin' at the menu." Humans really did eat weird things. Now, what would Bella like? I thought to myself. I had to make it look like Jasper and I were actually ordering this, when it was really for Bella. Weren't we such nice brothers?

"Okay."

"Ah, L-"

"Would you like special curly fries?

Who does he think he is!? Interrupting me while I'm thinking. What a bastard. "Please, don't offer me anything. I'll tell _you_ what _I_ want." I looked at the menu. Finally! I had found something. But they only had a six piece nugget thing a ma bob! "Um, okay. You know how you have the six-piece nuggets?"

"Six piece McNuggets." Was the reply of the drive-thru weirdo.

"Just, uh, can you give me just four nuggets? I'm, I'm tryin' to .."

"They come in six or twelve piece. Do you want service?"

Could this person get anymore frustrating? "Shut up and listen to my order! Take the six nuggets, and throw two of them away. I'm just wanting a four-nugget thing. I'm trying to watch my calorie intake."

Jasper just looked at my oddly and I just flashed a smile. This was just way to fun! No wonder why humans enjoyed this.

"They come in six or twelve pieces, sir." I could easily tell that this guy was afraid of what I was capable of. Oh, had had _no_ idea.

"Put two of them up your ass, and give me _four _chicken McNuggets." I looked at the menu again before Jasper pointed out something. It actually looked quite good for human food. "And then … Uh, can I have a junior western bacon chee? A _junior_ western bacon chee! I'm trying to watch my figure."

"Western Bacon Cheeseburger," The drive-thru freak repeated what I said. What, what was wrong with _that_? I clearly said a _junior_ Western Bacon Chee.

"_Junior_ Western Bacon Chee," I snarled. This guy was getting on my nerves! How can humans deal with him? How could Bella deal with him?

"Would you like that with onions?"

Um, gross? "No onions."

"Okay. Junior Bacon Chee … Total is six dollars and fifty seven cents." Did this guy seriously think I was done? No, this was just the beginning.

I looked at the menu again, and something caught my eye. I smirked, thinking of ways to toy with this guys mind. This was just too much fun! "Okay, an I'm gonna go with the fillet of fish sandwich, since that has less calories, cause it's fish."

"Fillet of Fish …," The weirdo slash freak of a drive-thru person repeated what I said. Why was he repeating it? It was completely pointless!

I looked for something to drink. Would Bella like a Coca-Cola? I hoped so. But I looked at my options and grinned. "Now, if you take a Coca-Cola, and just go half Coca-Cola, half Diet Coke. 'Cause I'm trying to watch my figure. Tryin' to loose some of the weight." I smirked. Jasper just stifled laughter. We were both enjoying this. Humans were so predictable!

"You want a half Coca-Cola, half-" He tried to say, but I cut him off. Something else caught my eye.

"Um, and a _small,_ a _small_, Chocolate Shake. Because I'm trying to watch my figure. Not a large, a _small_." Now I just hoped that this human would understand what I said when I said small. I mean, he – or was it a she? – didn't understand what I wanted with the McNuggets.

"It comes in Medium-Small or Medium-Large."

"Um …"

I could tell that the guy was probably getting frustrated. In fact, he was probably flipping me off as Jasper and I held back our laughter at our stupid ordering food for the human. "Small Chocolate Shake." He or She said. Yes! I was getting my way.

"Also, _small,_ seasoned-curlies." This list was so much fun to read! Even if it smelled horrible, it was quite fun to see what was on there.

"Seasoned curlies."

"_Small_, seasoned-curlies." Dipshit. That's what I said.

"Okay. I got the small seasoned-curlies, Western Bacon Cheeseburger …" He or She was probably thinking that I was gonna order something else. HAHA. How right they were.

"Okay … Uh. Fuck my ass, what else?" I looked at the menu before something caught my eye with my perfect vision yet again. "Give me, uh … Alright. Cherries Jubilee. And that's it." Dunno what that was, but it sounded good for a human.

"Cherries Jubilee."

Then it hit me. I still had Jasper in the car with me! Oh, duh. I should have known that. I mentally slapped myself on the head. "Wait! Jasper, what do you what?"

"Ahh … Jeez, let me have …" We where both stalling for this person. It was cracking us both up. "I think I want a regular, uh, Western Bacon Cheeseburger, Large shake, and umm …"

"Oh god! Come on with the order!" I faked complained. But Jasper could sense my amusement in this. He just shot me a glare that meant nothing.

"I'm …"

"Take forever!"

"That's all I want! That's all I want."

"Good! How much is that, sir?"

We both snickered. Way too much fun. We'd have to bring Edward with us sometime! He probably wouldn't enjoy this as much as we would, but he needed to have fun from his very prude life.

"That'll be, uh … Fourteen dollars and seventy five cents. At the window please, will you drive up?"

Oh crap! The money! I looked at Jasper. "Do you have any money?"

His eyes widened in shock. "Oh, shoot. Um. Oh god." He pulled out his wallet and looked through it, "Yeah, I got … Do you have an s … I got like …"

I held out my hand, "Give it to me."

"Alright, here." My brother handed me the money.

I looked at the money. How stupid were we? We went to the drive-thru, and forgot to bring some money. Thank god Jasper had some money in his wallet! "Okay, we only have … Ugh. Alright. I'm gonna need to cancel the last two things on the order."

"Alright, sir."

"Okay, thank you." I rolled up the window and pulled forward. "Let's go!"

**x0x0x0x**

We pulled back up to the house – in record time, might I add. Edward was outside, fuming. I felt sorry for Jasper, for sure that he could feel his anger.

"You took my car?!" He yelled. Had Bella gone home? No, wait. I saw her come close to Edward as he wrapped his arms around her. Bella tried to reassure him that the car was okay, and Jasper sent calming waves over towards him. They worked slightly as Bella dragged Edward back into the house. We followed them, and Bella eyed what was in our hands.

"What the hell did you do?" She asked, eying all the wonderful fast food that we could never eat. Jasper and I just smiled as we handed her the food.

"Food for the human!" And with that, we both burst out laughing. Edward and Bella both glared at us as we turned around, going to the living room … Or should I say living dead room? I currently wanted to play against Jasper on Halo 3, with our beloved xBox 360. But what I saw was something that wasn't right and it caused damage to both Jasper and I.

It was broken! My precious, xBox 360 … was broken! If I could cry, I would have been sobbing right now. Who would do such a thing? Jasper and I turned around, only to see Edward smirking, Bella holding back her laughter, and a fuming Esme. Jasper clutched his chest – I could only assume that Esme's temper was something that he couldn't control. Oh shit, I really was in for it.

"Emmett Cullen and Jasper Hale, would you care to tell me exactly _why_ I got a call from that new fast food place saying that someone with a sliver Volvo had harassed some poor worker?!"

"But mom! Edward has the Volvo!" Jasper protested. He tried to send a wave of calm over to her, but I could see that it failed badly. Esme glared at Jasper and he backed down as both of our eyes looked over to Edward, who was just smirking. Bella was about ready to burst from laughter.

… Damn.

**- End -  
**

**Yeah. I know. All I did was take that song and turned it into Jasper and Emmett and added a few things.  
BUT WHAT THE FUCK EVER MAN. XD**

**lolz. LISTEN TO THAT SONG.  
.. Well, it's not really a song.  
BUT STILL.**

**I'ma go work on mah new story naoz.  
x)**

**& hearts ;  
asheh. **


End file.
